Well during today's endurance training, I wanted to cry, but I didn't, and I misunderstood the number of times I thought we had to do the lunges/long jump/bear crawls and told Paula that I didn't think I could do it again. Luckily I misunderstood her and we only had to run a 3rd time, not do all the other stuff again (thank God).
I guess my point is that I came in dead last again. Yeah, it was physically difficult, but mainly because I misunderstood the directions and went too far down the room for some of the exercises and then I spent most of my mental energy fighting the old nagging desire to just give up; Not to mention the fact I was mad at myself for even considering to say 'I can't do it'.
I'm tired of being last, tired of fighting my owns doubts, and at the moment, just plain tired.
But I'm not giving up. Even I come in last every time.
I understand how you feel. We all have areas (and not just in regards to this test) that we are constantly struggling in and wanting to give up. But it's when we refuse to give up and do the easy thing that we become stronger and grow. You've done a lot of growing since April, far more than you see. And next time you're tempted to say "I can't do this" replace that thought with "Only two more sets left" or "I WILL do this". I'm proud of you!
ReplyDeleteHaving just watched the Packers win, I thought these Vince Lombardi quotes would be good:
ReplyDelete"Fatigue makes cowards of us all."
"It's easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you're a winner, when you're number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you're not a winner."
"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up."
"Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit."
"Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence."
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will."
"The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall."
"The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender."
"The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have."
"The quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor."
Devon, I am so amazed by you, and not just because you gave me a black eye the other night. I see you and Jackie at the studio working out way more often than the other candidates...even more than some of us 2nd degree testers. The improvements you have made over the last year are phenomenal...and you're still improving every day. If we measured success in this test relative to the condition you were in BEFORE you began your journey, I would have to say that you are a contender for getting there FIRST. :o)
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