Yeah, I know I`ve already posted about this once. But I feel the need to get a chance to get some things off my chest. I know a good part of it is my fault that Holly, Josh, Noah, and I got separated from the rest of the group. I feel this because at the time I was the Highest ranking person that was testing. I probably should have done more to find the rest of the group. There were several contributing factors that made us get lost in the first place.
By the time we were under the start banner, we couldn`t see any of the teamates anymore, so we weren`t completely sure how far away the rest of the group was from us. And with however many people that were there running, I seriously doubt that we would have seen the rest of the group running even if they ran past us. But when we decided that we weren`t going to be able to run as a group, we ran it together as a team of us four. When someone slowed down, we all slowed down. And when someone had to stop to get a breath, we all stopped. It wasn`t a problem of us not being able to stay and run together as a group because of our own selfish goals, it was a problem of us getting lost in the first place, and not doing enough to find the team.
This being said, it still doesn`t justify what happend the night of the starlight run. We slowed down substantially for a while, but even Noah and Josh who were on the sidewalk couldn`t find anyone. But we probably could have stopped completely. We could have slowed down for an even longer time. And there was probably other things we could have done to help find the group. So even though things happened that weren`t under our control, we still could have done things to make the situation better.
I think the thing that made me dissapointed the most about the starlight run is not the fact that I know I messed up big time, but the things people said about the starlight run afterward. Some things were said and mentioned about the starlight run that really hurt my relationships with some of our teamates. I really hope that what I have said and am saying doesn`t have the same effect. I don`t think people thought about the attitude they were using when they wrote on the blog, and talked in the dojo. This passage from "Attitude" comes to mind. "We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.” I guess what has happened at the Starlight run, and and time that followed counts as a time to look at ourselves, and see what we can change to keep moving Onward, and make this blackbelt test and ourselves the best that we can be. Onward Dare to Dream Team!
Together Everyone Acheives More
No matter how much blood, sweat, and tears there are, and even when I mess up hugely like I have done in the past, I always want to move Onward.
CGN Christopher Hoskins
Well said, Chris... You didn't mess up... We all just learned a lot that day and we're all moving forward on past it all. My attitude admittedly crashed and burned after the run because none of us tried to get separated, it just happened. BUT after talking to other black belts and teammates about it, it changed my viewpoint on everything... for the better, I mean. :) Anyhow, you're a fantastic team member and we're lucky to train with you.
ReplyDelete